Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Our Oldest Son Got Married!

A son is a son
'Til he takes a wife,
But a daughter's a daughter 
All of her life.

Our baby's due date was July 4th, but he was delivered eight weeks premature by emergency cesarean on May 12, 1984.  In the hospital just before the delivery, my doctor told us that he felt pretty certain it would be a big healthy girl.  The rest of the day was a post-surgery daze, and all I can remember is asking, "What is it again?" a boy  "Really? A little boy?  How nice..."  The next day I was rolled into the NICU and stared into the incubator at a tiny naked preemie with gel-clear skin and fuzzy gummy bear ears as the doctors explained how our baby battled to fill his undeveloped lungs. He had no muscle tone and his skin hung from his bony frame. Tubes and wires were everywhere.  He was very sick and they prepared us for the worst.  It was Mother's Day.

An unexpected rush of mothering took me by storm. Actually it was more like a hormone hurricane!  I spent my days in the hospital, with Mark joining me every evening.  We scrubbed and pulled sanitized hospital gowns over our clothes and then we'd be ushered into the NICU with all the beeping machines and screaming alarms.  We took turns slipping our hands into giant gloves that reached into the incubator to caress our darling struggling newborn through thick gloved hands.  We talked soothingly to Baby Robbie, urging him to grow strong and telling him what fun it is to be a kid.

Robbie thrived and grew into a busy boy, a good student, and finally, a charming adult.  All the while, as one does as parents - we were guiding, advising, monitoring, protecting.

Vanessa was the darling little girl from the next neighborhood that danced her way through the hearts of everyone she ever met.  She and Robert lived parallel lives, crossing paths often during childhood.  We are so glad their paths crossed once more as young adults, because she surely found a place in our son's heart. Robert and Vanessa were married this year on October 22nd.
Mark and I are now at the crossroads of a new dimension in our lives, uncharted ground; After years of nurturing and guiding, we have to change direction and monitor ourselves so that we do not intrude on their privacy and adulthood - - the overbearing in-laws. We are pleased to see how focused Robert is on his career and new wife and their life together. We are delighted to have such a lovely daughter-in-law.  Vanessa is sweet and talented and wonderful.  Is gushing overbearing? I don't want to be Hurricane Marty.

I enjoy the extra space Robert's empty room offers.  It is currently used as gift wrap central, but we can't wait to set it up as a computer/guest room.  Our other son David still lives at home, and we see less and less of him, as it should be. I have plans to make David's sunny room into a sewing studio one day. This empty nest thing is pretty nice!