EMPTY NEST SYNDROME

The nest is empty. Our almost 25 year old son David has flown the coop! He moved in with his friend Eddy, who lives with his girlfriend in a condo about 2 miles from home. Last weekend Mark and I helped David move his bedroom furniture and desk in two trailer loads. He took most of his belongings, but has been coming back almost daily to go through stuff, put a load in the trash and a load in his car. His closet is still full, but it won't be long until I have this room converted into a sewing room.

David's new home is a two story condo with his room on the first floor. Also on the first floor is the kitchen, a walk in pantry, and a combination dining and living room, all nicely furnished. David has an en suite bathroom, and also in his room is a door to outside where he has a private porch that looks out over Errol golf course. Our old porch furniture fits perfectly. Back inside the apartment, a spiral staircase takes you up to Eddy and Amanda's master suite and small bedroom/office. There is a door that leads outside to a patio that is over David's bedroom and another spiral staircase outside that leads to a third patio that is over Eddy's bedroom. It's a wonderful place to do some star gazing.

While I enjoyed an empty house last week, I went into David's room many times to dream. That room smelled like a gym shoe and looked like a feather pillow exploded and so I vacuumed. A thousand stickers on the back of his door have been peeled off, and I started pulling glow in the dark stars off the walls. There must be a thousand! I have plans to put a fresh coat of white on the ceiling and repaint the walls a cheerier color than the current dreary moss green.

Yesterday I redecorated the guest bathroom. Mark and I went shopping for a new shower curtain, a complimentary turquoise hand towel, wall decor and a scented candle (the smaller one) made it look like a completely different room. The walls are tan and the vanity is white with a darker tan/brownish marble top with white sink. The shower curtain rod and hangers are a dark bronze.

I said to David, "If we get empty nest syndrome, will you move back home?" He response was a solid "NO!" I think he's pretty happy to be moved out. Mark and I are happy for David and for ourselves. There is a maturity that happens when a child moves out. Will it be our son or us that matures? I can't speak for David, but Mark and I feel younger!

Our Oldest Son Got Married!

A son is a son
'Til he takes a wife,
But a daughter's a daughter 
All of her life.

Our baby's due date was July 4th, but he was delivered eight weeks premature by emergency cesarean on May 12, 1984.  In the hospital just before the delivery, my doctor told us that he felt pretty certain it would be a big healthy girl.  The rest of the day was a post-surgery daze, and all I can remember is asking, "What is it again?" a boy  "Really? A little boy?  How nice..."  The next day I was rolled into the NICU and stared into the incubator at a tiny naked preemie with gel-clear skin and fuzzy gummy bear ears as the doctors explained how our baby battled to fill his undeveloped lungs. He had no muscle tone and his skin hung from his bony frame. Tubes and wires were everywhere.  He was very sick and they prepared us for the worst.  It was Mother's Day.

An unexpected rush of mothering took me by storm. Actually it was more like a hormone hurricane!  I spent my days in the hospital, with Mark joining me every evening.  We scrubbed and pulled sanitized hospital gowns over our clothes and then we'd be ushered into the NICU with all the beeping machines and screaming alarms.  We took turns slipping our hands into giant gloves that reached into the incubator to caress our darling struggling newborn through thick gloved hands.  We talked soothingly to Baby Robbie, urging him to grow strong and telling him what fun it is to be a kid.

Robbie thrived and grew into a busy boy, a good student, and finally, a charming adult.  All the while, as one does as parents - we were guiding, advising, monitoring, protecting.

Vanessa was the darling little girl from the next neighborhood that danced her way through the hearts of everyone she ever met.  She and Robert lived parallel lives, crossing paths often during childhood.  We are so glad their paths crossed once more as young adults, because she surely found a place in our son's heart. Robert and Vanessa were married this year on October 22nd.

Mark and I are now at the crossroads of a new dimension in our lives, uncharted ground; After years of nurturing and guiding, we have to change direction and monitor ourselves so that we do not intrude on their privacy and adulthood - - the overbearing in-laws. We are pleased to see how focused Robert is on his career and new wife and their life together. We are delighted to have such a lovely daughter-in-law.  Vanessa is sweet and talented and wonderful.  Is gushing overbearing? I don't want to be Hurricane Marty.

I enjoy the extra space Robert's empty room offers.  It is currently used as gift wrap central, but we can't wait to set it up as a computer/guest room.  Our other son David still lives at home, and we see less and less of him, as it should be. I have plans to make David's sunny room into a sewing studio one day. This empty nest thing is pretty nice!