Friday, January 21, 2011

Butt-itis

I am a candle-gainer. You have to dip and dip and dip to get a candle fat enough to be worthwhile.  I'm worthwhile and then some!  When I gain weight, it doesn't go one place, but like a candle, the fat evenly coats my entire body and isn't really noticeable until I've gained an extra ten.  And I think, eh, I will diet next month.

Do you know people that, when they gain weight, they gain it in one place first and it's totally evident that she's been doing some serious eating?   You see a friend you haven't seen in a month, and there's some major badonkadonk going on, and you think, "HOLY COW!  What happened to your behind?!"  I wish so much that when I put on an extra five pounds that I'd get a case of "butt-itis" so severe, nobody could miss that I'd been putting away the groceries, including me.  Inspiration to diet, or not gain in the first place!

So today I had a doctor's appointment with my family doctor.  Dr. Shaw has been treating my family for the entire 24 years we've lived in Apopka.  It was a good appointment, like visiting an old friend.  Like the woman in the mirror, I've watched Dr. Shaw get older and fatter.  We discussed my weight, and I am going to join a program in his office to drop that 40 that somehow creeped onto me like dipping a candle.  I asked the doctor if he was on the program and he laughed, "No, I like to eat too much!"   He did tell me that, although I am fat, I am absolutely the healthiest he's seen in the 24 years I've been his patient.  It's true!  I no longer am going to the rheumatologist, am taking minimal medicine, only when I need it (for RA), and the only other med I need are daily hormones.  Three cheers for hysterectomies!

So I start the diet program with an appointment on Monday.  My inspiration, besides wishing to wear size six (I am only 5'2" - that's the size I should wear) instead of 14,  is first and foremost to take some great photos in a gorgeous dress at Robert and Vanessa's October wedding.  My other inspiration is a trip to Jamaica with my skinny friend  Bonnie in April.  How much can I knock off by April??  Go to church, light a candle, and pray for me!

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